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Thursday, September 21, 2023

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A borderline of depression: you’re my everything

If you tell your partner “You are my everything; I can’t be without you!” If you say , you have considered yourself nothing; You wanted to complete your existence with it, to close your inadequacy. Because you are one. He is also one. But the relationship is for two people. One plus one makes two. Therefore, no matter what happens, no matter how much you love, you must protect your personality, your self, your happiness. Those who are happy in a relationship are those who stand up straight. The concessions are endless. The demands are endless. So instead of being dependent, being zero in the relationship, you should feel yourself.

If you want to make someone depressed, take responsibility for “You are my everything”

Weak, incompetent or important in the life of someone who thinks they are so. It’s easier to be. If you choose such a person, he tries to strengthen him and organize his life; In return, you want to be at the center of his life. Your expectation is to be in the center, and your efforts are to reach it. By gaining strength from your sacrifice, you begin to manage and control everything. Until his need for you is gone. When his need is over, you will accuse him of being ungrateful to you.

In summary, you should avoid sacrificing for your own expectation. Because when it is not received, you start to hate the person you glorified.

“If you have a balance problem in your life, look around you carefully. You probably put someone in the wrong place”

(J. Christophe)

Analysis of the sentence

“You are my everything; I can’t be without you!” In the analysis of the sentence , the person feels inadequate, worthless and dependent. Those who are in addicted relationships are those who praise the other person very much and are disappointed in the smallest problem. They plan their whole life according to that person. Even thinking that that person does not exist creates anxiety in the person. Over-exalting in dependent relationships, putting all the expectations on the partner, makes both the burdener and the one who has to bear this responsibility unhappy. A relationship pattern that constantly apologizes emerges.

In a dependent relationship, the individual lives disconnected from his social life. His friends and family are secondary. He wants to spend all his time and shares with his partner. This type of relationship is the most intense; but it is the most difficult relationships. Relationships that are hard to break and the pain of separation are the hardest. In dependent relationships, the person does everything his partner says to continue the relationship. He always makes concessions. He tries everything to keep it, even if it goes against his logic. Just like committing murder for his lover, robbing a bank…

The hidden anger of the addicted relationship

In fact, in dependent relationships, the person secretly confides in his partner. includes anger. Because his partner put him in a difficult situation, he tried to get free. But the person directed his anger not at his partner, but at himself, who could not react. That is why every day quarrels, causeless accusations are the main feature of this relationship. The feeling of revenge lies on the basis of incidents such as causing trouble, causing pain to one’s partner, and creating problems.

You are my everything relationship is actually a relationship in which interests are involved. The addict finds the one who likes to be glorified and satisfied. Those who want to be exalted and flattered will find the person who does it. In other words, they complement each other like pots and lids.

These relationships, which we come across a lot today, are actually the combination of those whose lives are full of emotional abuse and those who were raised spoiled.

Nobody is everything to anybody

In essence, nobody is everything to anybody. If everyone knows their potential and their own worth, they will experience healthier processes in their lives. Although we are born with a code that has the power to deal with everything in our creation, we lose this power with gains or we cling to others or relationships that only give crumbs of love for years without realizing it.

Sometimes we try so hard for someone who is so helpless, doesn’t fit us, doesn’t deserve what we give, that even we can’t believe ourselves when we wake up. And then we talk about that person’s cruelty and undeservedness. However, this process is our product. We do everything from finding that person to putting the relationship in that shape.

Forget about giving the value we deserve, if we don’t get away from someone who doesn’t give the value they deserve, or if we don’t give the necessary reaction, if he does so, he will lose and if we don’t show him our behavior, the relationship with time; It turns into the form of wanting – not giving or fleeing – being chased. We convert. The healthiest thing is for the relationship to be reciprocal and not involve unilateral efforts. In constant states of indifference or lovelessness, this should not be allowed.

No one is indispensable in life. Let’s not make anyone feel that. There is also the fact that everyone who says they can’t give up, when they don’t give up, the other person gives up anyway. People no longer want helpless partners in their lives. In the past, women did not want this type of men; men wanted, now neither side does.

“When you make someone feel indispensable, you will be the first person to give up”.

(S. Freud)


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