The mistakes you make in relationships can put you in a dead end. In fact, the end of the relationship can often end in frustration because of these mistakes. There are certain mistakes that you should pay attention to in your relationship, and that almost everyone usually makes. So what are these errors?
Not accepting differences
We all have different lifestyles. Their thoughts are different. But we ignore them and start the relationship. Then, when the person in front of us does not fit these patterns, we can feel as if there is a deficiency. Or we may think that in order for the relationship to work, we need to show ourselves different from what we are. It is easy to love the ideal man/woman, but is it also easy to love the other person? Trying to understand the differences, finding a way to love the other person as they are without putting them in our stereotypes, accepting both him and ourselves with all our authenticity opens the way from “me” to “us”.
Not taking responsibility for mistakes
When something goes wrong in the relationship, quickly bill the other party, not taking responsibility for the current situation, constantly blaming your partner, repairing the relationship cause serious injuries. Saying “I’m not the problem” doesn’t mean you’re looking for a solution. If the same problems are experienced over and over, instead of blaming your partner and confronting him, you can come together and think about how you can solve the problem. So you can spend your time and energy solving real problems rather than blaming each other.
Don’t care about spending quality time
Make a list of activities you enjoy doing together each week you can try to do it. Try to dedicate yourself to what you are doing during this time. Put aside the distractions at these times when you approach the other person with care, value them, try to understand their different situations and nurture your relationship. Don’t chat with one eye on the phone. Prioritize these times over your other plans.
Not being able to appreciate
Condescending, mocking, unconstructive criticism constantly gives your partner the message that they are “not liked”. However, being admired is one of our most basic sources of happiness. Being curious about the other person’s experiences, showing interest, praising their talents, appreciating their achievements, looking for ways to show our admiration in different ways deepens trust and love in a relationship.
Not being able to protect borders
“Who am I?” We don’t ask ourselves too many questions. But if we avoid asking this question and looking for the answer, our life will easily be shaped according to the wishes and needs of others. It is very important to know ourselves and to be aware of our feelings and needs in order to both protect our own borders and respect the borders of the other party.
Creating gaps in communication
No matter how painful the subject, everything can be talked about in a relationship. Using nonviolent communication methods makes it easier for you to express yourself correctly and to understand the other person. Stopping talking, judging, withdrawing, not listening cuts the connection between couples, increases misunderstandings, and eliminates the possibility of problem solving. Don’t wait for the other person to read your mind, be open and have a dialogue. Being accommodating, empathetic, and compassionate towards each other makes it easier for you to resolve conflicts.
