Children need family warmth and parental love in order to become a healthy individual. Therefore, this point of view should always be taken into account when adopting and the child to be adopted should be psychologically differentiated. Experts explained what needs to be done for the first meeting with the child to be adopted. Can a child be adopted from the orphanage? How should an adopted child be approached?
Children in the orphanage are not only psychologically distressed for themselves, but also tangible difficulties on the foster and possessive family. Such a child needs more effort and care. In order for a baby or child who has fallen into a similar situation to complete their full development, it is necessary to learn the processes and factors that will affect their development.
When looking at the personality development of the child taken from the orphanage, first of all, attention should be paid to the age difference of the child. This issue is actually the result of the analysis of how the child continues his development in the normal process depending on his age. However, the result of the developmental analysis of the adoptive family should be looked at and evaluated by a specialist.
CHILDREN WITHOUT PARENTAL CARE UP TO 3 YEARS OLD
The increasing situation of orphans and orphans is among the biggest problems of our time. However, it should be kept in mind that the baby or the child may have come to the orphanage due to the deceased parents. It is necessary to consider the personality formation factors of the child from birth to 3 years, regardless of the reasons such as how the child got there or abandonment.
The child may not be ready yet to respond to the outside world. In this case, it should be taken into account that the child does not see any mother or father love. The child is always looking for ways to fill this gap and socialize. In the baby’s life, it is seen that he is protected if he does not have a full life of gratitude or if the parents have a connection with substance addictions. There may also be situations where the child still loves his mother and does not want to leave. Rather than being without a mother for children, it should not be forgotten that even the worst mother is a loved person, and it should not be forgotten that this process is a difficult one. Therefore, separation from the family becomes a great stress for the baby. Psychologist support should be intense with such children.
CHILDREN AFTER 3 YEARS WITHOUT PARENTS
The adaptation process of this age group is more difficult. The child begins to understand that he lacks a certain behavior, expressions, a family in the generally accepted understanding for him. Children who have reached the age of 3 subconsciously enter a state of searching for a parent. This is clearly evident. In short, in their eyes, every person who worries, protects and watches is a parent. There is a perception that he can get support and protection in the future. On the other hand, it is seen that the children of mothers who do not have many ethical behaviors steal in the usual natural process and use bad words. Since it is more difficult to change with the identity formed up to the age of 3, protective and possessive families need to act with much more patience and knowledge, with the help of a psychologist.
FIRST MEETING WITH THE ADDRESSED CHILD
It should not be forgotten that the most important factor is the age scale. Families who meet their future daughter or son should approach with this thought. Everything depends on the age of the child and he needs to prepare accordingly. Psychologists determined the points that parents should pay attention to in order to exhibit the right behavior at the first meeting.
1- APPEARANCE
If a child under the age of 3 is to be interviewed, minimum jewelry, perfume-free and colorless clothes should be worn. Because in order for the child not to be afraid, a sign should be given that he can feel safe in the standards of the people working there. Therefore, entering a world where employees are constantly wearing white aprons is enough to frighten them.
2- THE RIGHT WAY TO MEET
In order not to frighten the child from the orphanage, it is necessary to take the right steps. Standard simple conversations should be made between both interlocutors. As a result of the quite ordinary conversations, it was noticed that the child was afraid when many families were seen running and hugging. Every child wants parents, but it should be understood that the person who comes suddenly is no different from an uncle or aunt on the street. Give the child time to get used to it. However, during the meeting phase, it is necessary to get rid of extreme feelings such as absurdly excited, nervous, nervous.
Also, meeting in the principal’s office room is both imperative and adds tension to the child. The right meeting place is places such as walking path, game room, bedroom.
3- CANDIDATES SHOULD REMAIN PASSIVE
Keeping in mind that many women work in the orphanage, it is among the facts underlined by psychologists that the existence of a man is perceived as a foreign object. Therefore, it is recommended not to have father candidates in an active speech and constant movement. It takes time for it to filter, comprehend and get used to you.
4- SURPRISE GIFTS
It will be useful to put small but happy things in your bag. The child’s curiosity instinct will concentrate on the bag and it is normal for him to expect what is inside to be himself. It will be useful to have things that you should not worry about when you lose them, in the bags that even children from full families are curious and confused.
Just remember that you went to see a child and when you greet the child with great gifts, that child will be back with his friends. There may be such jealousy crises, aggression and fighting conflicts among children. For this reason, try to keep gifts small, in minimal doses.
5- CORRECT ANSWERS TO ASKED QUESTIONS
It is important to give clear and understandable, correct answers to the questions asked by the child. On the one hand, it should be answered without forgetting the perception that he can flirt and without giving unnecessary hope to the child. Psychologists have found that children who are sometimes hopeful and disappointed twice experience more severe traumatic problems. It would be useful to talk to a doctor or teacher who knows and knows the child before the interview and to get information on this subject.
