Parents may act excessively when faced with a low grade report report. Specialist Psychologist Aycan Bulut gives tips on how families should behave towards children in such a situation.
While some of the students complete the education season with the happiness of getting the reward of their efforts, some of them finish with anxiety and distress. Children with unsuccessful report cards can have unhappy times. Especially in this period, children are hesitant to tell their families about the failure in their grades. The reason for this anxiety experienced by children stems from the expectation of the family for a good report card.
The report card shows the points where the child needs support
The report card is given to document the attitude and success of the students during the one-year education season. . Report cards not only show the child’s level of achievement, but also reflect the subjects he is interested in. The point that parents should not forget is that the report card is not a source of shame or pride. On the contrary, it should be known that the report card is a tool where the child can get an idea about which area he/she needs support.
The child should not be compared with their classmates
The behavior of the family to the student who gets a bad report card is of great importance. Because while parents attach too much meaning to the report card, they can compare their children with other classmates and humiliate them for not being successful. However, these attitudes of parents can cause children to experience a lack of confidence and a negative self-development. In addition, children who are compared to others may show aggressive and aggressive behaviors to their environment, especially their families. Because they feel the obligation to try to please their families throughout their lives can cause them to experience intense anxiety.
Punishment can only be an instant solution
It would not be right to take the report card of the child coming from school and quickly examine it and give immediate reactions. Instead, wait for the appropriate time to talk to the child about the report card. Also, punishing the child for bad grades will not resolve the situation. For this reason, instead of punishing the child, it should be asked what he thinks about his low grades. After the child listens first, the lessons and notes should be discussed together and the ideas of the parents should be conveyed to the child in an appropriate language. In addition to these, it should be kept in mind that punishing the child may provide an instant solution to the situation, but will have negative consequences in the long run. In the following conversations, the child should be asked how he plans to make up for his deficiencies in the next period. In addition, it should be said that a plan can be made together in this regard. The child should be appreciated for his good lessons.
Good report card should not be rewarded excessively
Children with successful report card should not be rewarded excessively. The child should be told that he should work for his future, not for great gifts. In addition, it should be noted that the gifts to be given to the child are options that will encourage school success and contribute to individual development. Along with the gifts, the child should be given verbal feedback about his achievements.
Not only is the child responsible for bad grades
Every bad grade a child gets indicates that the family and school should be evaluated. However, while this evaluation is being made, the child should be together and his/her opinions should be taken. While making this speech, an angry and judgmental attitude should not be displayed. Only the child should be given the right to speak, and he should be given the opportunity to produce a solution for this situation.
