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Saturday, January 21, 2023

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shame and we

We have presented my new book, Shame, to the reader’s appreciation. But just as liking a post announcing a death on social media is disturbing, the word liking is a bit of a challenge for this book. It was received with nice words and feelings and resonated in a short time, I am grateful. But at the same time, I dream of a world where these things do not exist. This book was written to serve that dream.

In this country, everyone, but you must admit, especially women, are forced to live the life that has been designed for them, busy with all the details. For example, in marriages they do not want, trying to please everyone except their spouses one by one, being forced to give birth to the members of a group that is overly eager to breed their descendants, one after the other, are among these details. I can hear you saying, is there such a detail?

Yes, these actions that change the whole of human life are often seen as obligatory details for women. Minor details whose difficulties are never accepted and who never recognize the will of the woman… I have known women who killed themselves because they were forced to give birth to their 8th child before the end of puerperium. I recognized them. Women who were thought to have all the work of the extended family done and awarded with a surname during their entire pregnancy… If I hadn’t known… It hurts.

There are so many women who have been abused and don’t care if the abuse didn’t result in death. Most of the time, perpetrators even found women guilty; tail wagged, provoked, wanted… They said. Someone always had something to say, and no one even bothered to call a decent account. The man is smart… When I think about this word, it goes to my power.

I cannot rewrite the fate of all women. I cannot completely change what has happened. I cannot completely destroy or give an equal share to the things that are considered the duty of women in this country, between us and men. Since I’m used to being pointed at while defending a woman’s right to have an orgasm, I can very well bang my fist on the table while defending her right to life. I can express all the feelings and desires of women, without saying less, without saying much, without saying important or unimportant.

The point is: Here; Will you accompany me? Or will you just stare as I speak for all of us? Are you going to stand there and roll your curious eyes while judging your neighbor’s daughter’s skirt and talking about her walking around? While you are kidnapping the ‘widow’ woman who has moved to your apartment, will you invite everyone to their husband for coffee, will you take a hot cake when they are tired from work? Who and what will you be? Will you stand by your raped cousin’s wedding, or at her court, holding her hand tightly? Decide and it’s a bit urgent!

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